※SpinalGap24 ※

Part of me is still very much alive, but another part in me rejects life, thanks to TOTAL neglect from some beloved doctor's and the even lovelier NHS. (I really do not hate the NHS, but please understand my total disillusionment with the present bankrupt system. Individually, doctor's and nurses are the best in the world, but the NHS, en-masse, has become non-league.)
How can this be, in such a glorified nation?
I reject nonsense, pain, selfishness, acquiescence and all forms of coldness, rudeness, greed and self-opinionated head-in-the-sand crap...I'd rather have my head in the clouds than below ground.

Thanks to some very dear comments from some very dear people here...you are a Godsend at my wit's end, saving me from the world's end, allowing me to fight to the very end!

I've had moments where I nearly went to the other side...

I'm on heavy medication, that disallows me the opportunity of movement, walking, and using this keypad. Today, my temper erupted, Etnaesque, and boiling blood got me this far~~~!!!!!
I need a vent, an avenue, a view, some air and life.

Thanks to the weather, I'm eating Chinese style noodles, liver, chicken, peppers, sweetcorn, mushrooms, wasabi, chives, onions and fresh chillies outside, with Gunpowder tea.
Furthermore, I have got some new songs by Shibata Jun, and the Kaiser Chiefs...I'm well away.

Here's to today, because tomorrow will be digging me deeper into the NHS pit.
Give me herbs not 'healthcare'!!

Where do I take this pain of mine
I run but it stays right by my side
So tear me open, pour me out
The things inside that scream and shout
And the pain still hates me, so hold me until it sleeps

Just like a curse, just like a stray
You feed it once and now it stays
How it stays

2-So tear me open, but beware
The things inside without a care
And the dirt still stains me
So wash me until I'm clean

1-It grips you solely, it stains you solely
It hates you solely, it holds you solely
Until it sleeps...

So tell me why you've choosen me
Don't want your grip, don't want your greed
Don't want it
Tear me open, make you gone, no more can you hurt anyone
And the fear still shakes me, so hold me until it sleeps
(repeat 1)

I don't want it...NO

(rpt 2)
Tear me open, make you gone
No longer will you hurt anyone
And the hate still shakes me, so hold me up
until it sleeps
Until it sleeps...

-Metallica