I'm about to be transferred to another hospital, for shortterm treatment. I'll be moved south, to Essex at 4 or 5am tomorrow morning, for how long I do not know.
Today, I exploded because of the doubling of my already hard-to-cope-with medication, and my pleas to a doctor to listen to me rationally, and to at least pass comment on my constant excessive nosebleeding, increasing blood pressure, head pressure, and increasing leg and spinal pain...alas, he did not give a damn, seemed bored and very put-out that I was troubling him with mere "backache".
Dear friends, I'm sorry to rant, but can you give me a few minutes?
The doctor turned for a moment, to print out my doubled medication, (which is so strong, it needs my signature, from a sealed pharmacy, within the hospital!), I noticed on the PC, that he had written, "patient complaining of backache"...
...I was shocked beyond words.
I have written on here, that I have ALREADY had x-ray's and the key MRI revealing broken bones, fractures and a vertebrae slipping and trapping several nerves. (This has been the case for at least 2 years, and is deteriorating).
So, this is what the NHS call backache? Now I know, thanks for filling me in dear doctor, so sorry to have bothered you with my trivialities...
They are making ME feel ashamed of myself, for taking up their time, and adding to waiting lists, and I now feel they are just treating me, as they do many other patients, as a bloody nuisance.
The drugs they have given us all here are very strong, and seem to silence us all...is that their aim?
I am fearful that these drugs are designed more as 'silencers' than painkillers.
I still have my sanity, just, and also some firepower...and feel this is a 'now or never' moment...if I do nothing, I will fall into a slump, of the NHS making, and allow the haze of this medication to reduce me to a statistic, or, wake-up and fully realise that this is my life, and I should value it...I sometimes feel I am starting to accept the NHS mess, and allow myself to wait for two or three years before they even do anything.
It is not right, what is happening to so many.
Anyway, on a happier note, some kind Filipino medical staff, working here, gave me supper last night, which consisted of spices, adobo, rice and many meats...followed by glutinous rice in coconut milk, with crunchy peanut inside. Delicious!
There are some staff here, working their socks off to help patients, and trying to work against the tide. The 'ground staff' are brilliant.
I read today too, that Gabby Logan is unhappy with the excesses of World Cup presenting, and the travelling that goes with it...to the extent of her disapproval of German water affecting her hair. The fact that she made a point of mentioning a Novotel is evidence that she is not used to staying in them. Overpampering is not good Gabby!
Well, with respect, why doen't she hand over that huge pay packet to about 100,000 Brits who could and would willingly do a better job than her good self.
Further proof of the enormous and revolting financial divide in Britain.
Oh, I'm ranting rather a lot aren't I?
Apologies and no apologies.
PS: I'll reply to the great comments soon...my body has barely enough energy to post these few postings, let alone transfer hospitals.
Stay happy all!
Following my previous posts, keeping in touch is my best thing since sliced bread. 