Conversion Factors for your Digestion:

1. Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its
diameter = Eskimo Pi

2. 2000 pounds of Chinese Soup = Won ton

3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

4. Time between slipping on a peel and
smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

5. Weight an evangelist carries with God =
1 billigram

6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical
mile per hour = Knotfurlong

7. 365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer =
1 Lite year

8. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling

9. Half a large intestine = 1 semicolon

10. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz

11. Basic unit of laryngitis – 1 hoarsepower

12. Shortest distance between two jokes -
a straight line

13. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

14. 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone

15. 1 million bicycles = 1 megacycle

16. 365 days = 1 unicycle

17. 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds

18. 10 cards = 1 decacard

19. 52 cards = 1 deckacard

20. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton

21. 1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen

22. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

23. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

24. 10 rations = 1 decaration

25. 100 rations = 1 C-Ration

26. 2 monograms = 1 diagram

27. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms

28. 5 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing
at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League

The hurt and lies
that can never be seen
in their eyes
are unspeakably unclean

without purpose
to feather a net gain
or means to usurp us
for pleasure or pain

it's their hell upon windows
like clouds to a mask
the effect just shadows
playing upon a task

the spoils were there
but now it's gone
and we won't care
when the battles won!

Border Collie: Just one. Then I’ll replace
any wiring that’s not up to code.

Rotweiler: Make me!

Labrador Retriever: Oh, me, me! Pleeease let me change
the light bulb! Can I? Huh? Huh?

Dachshund: You know I can’t reach that
stupid lamp!

Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You
can feed me while he’s busy.

Jack Russell Terrier: I’ll just pop it in while I’m
bouncing off the walls.

Greyhound: It isn’t moving. Who cares?

Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still
pee on the carpet in the dark.

Mastiff: Screw it yourself! I’m not afraid of the
dark…

Doberman: While it’s out, I’ll just take a nap on the couch.

Boxer: Who needs light? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there!

Chihuahua: Tu quiero taco bulb?

Australian Shepherd: First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…

Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs—
people change light bulbs. I am not one
of THEM so the question is, how long
before I can expect my light again?

Poodle: I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives
ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying
about a stupid burned out bulb?

Old English Sheepdog: Light bulb? That thing I just ate was a light bulb?

Basset Hound: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Of a whirlwind in a stew
muffled words that I once knew
-human hurt is so indubitable
from birth death is inevitable
confusion reigns over a mind-numbing day
like sunflowers regaining poise in storm's residual decay
from shuddering breath, a jaggered word
like simulated death, from poisoned sword
coming again, wave after wave
attacks to repel in hopeful stave
akin to the trust you fight to gain
only to be left in torrential rain
what agurs now for hurting spirit?
so stolen and dispirit
emotional eagre so blue, swelling
in breach of all my hearts dwelling.

written by lauren6

Sister's of Mercy: First and Last and Always

See a body and a dream of the dead days
A following lost and blind
Living far from here
Tomorrow is hard to find
And it seems like twenty five years of
Promises and give me more
Scenes of a hand-me-down in
Dresses heard before

First and last and always, 'til the end of time
First and last and always, Mine

Maybe it’s not so easy
Maybe it’s a way to long
Say, say you’ll be by me
When the evidence comes along

First and last and always, My calling, my time
First and last and always, Mine

My calling
My time

See a place and a dream of the dead days
A following lost and blind
Cross my heart with silver
Here’s the key behind
Seems like twenty five years of
Ever after ever more more more
Seems I wore this face for you
Far too long before

First and last and always, My calling, my time
First and last and always, Mine

First and last and always, 'til the end of time
First and last and always, Mine.

Included in Q Magazine's 'Best Gothic Albums Of All Time' - "...their tombstone....This mordant beast survives as a mission statement...for the genre: pitch-black, rock-hard, utterly oppressive, shrouded in bollocks. Black! Black!"
-Q Magazine

With the band itself falling to bits shortly after the March 1985 debut of First and Last and Always, the album's place in the skewed history of the rise of goth rock would, on one hand, be permanently linked with that discord but, on the other, not impacted in the slightest, leaving the fractious set's success and structure to become a blueprint for an entire generation of up-and-comers. With static drumbeats and jangle-angled guitars backing Andrew Eldritch's atonic, graveyard vocals, the songs on First and Last and Always paid to play alongside the ghosts of myriad forgotten post-punkers as well as the band's own goth forebears. From the opening air-fire claustrophobia of "Black Planet" to the melancholy "No Time to Cry," Eldritch continually assured listeners that "everything's gonna be alright" -- but, really, coming out of that mouth, did anyone actually believe him? Even on the occasional wobbly patches imbedded in the now classic "Marian" and the title track, where the song threatens to dissolve into irrelevance despite Eldritch's chirky vocal, they pull up wonderfully on the bass-driven, bee-stung guitar gem "Possession" and the closing "Some Kind of Stranger," an untouchable epic that, clocking in at over seven minutes, is the best of its kind from any time -- period. "Some Kind of Stranger" not only became a love song for the doom and gloom crowd, but was also an anthemic, anemic declaration of intent laid bare in a haze of sonic smoke and mirrors. Copied to death, its brilliance has never been replicated. Indeed, the entire album remains unequaled in the genre, permanently granted top place on a pedestal from which it cannot be toppled.
~ Amy Hanson, All Music Guide

My candle flickered through August
with sostenuto glow
'til autumn's impatience
overthrew me with mighty sough
threatening my very perpetuance

The first pertinacious morning
and a missing breakfast
fed only on a disencumbered breeze
my surrounding leaves held steadfast
as if beckoning a sinecure wheeze

Fastigated late afternoon, clavis sought
with light failing in candlelit squint
melting subsistance met lively enemy
a flashlight of blinding dissident
their faceless grime and sickly felony

Gravitating away in helpless weightlessness
the candle burned itself to death
without tears to cry for help
my soul rose yet sank underneath
a SOS sent with patible yelp

Calling on Sister's of Mercy stretto
the second day's ever-changing weather
undernourishment composed a musical strategem
for terrestial roots at the end of their tether
still, my strength remains by the Wensum.

written by lauren6
overnight

[Thanks to the Sister's of Mercy: "Marian" for back-up and peace of mind.]

Another brick in the wall
-a hit!
when emotion breached
in a settlement of scores
one over another
the defence now doubled
replacing ailing wall
tonight's pointed linement
reveals fortified refinements
with moderate confinements
unabridged and unscaled
impenetrable!
from vallum a castle 'grown'
a glacis of survival
and a gladheart autumn.

written by lauren6
overnight

I don't want to be hurt, or played-with, and protect myself from anymore (blog) games that some people are playing.