※SpinalGap24 ※

Written while under medication, after the major spinal operation, but awaiting the second, unexpected one, last week.

Pt.1: Return to wholeness (21:15, 12/09/06)
Hope, belief and good health
found a way to escape
from grasping wishes
and hellish surgical dishes

Like a world is forever turning
a dupondius find
the setting and unearthing of time
and restoration of mind.

Pt.2 (21:25, 12/09/06)
The maigre inertia
in milieu wilderness
unmapped crossroads
of forbidden slowness
where hurst was removed by pain
pines regenerate alone
mementoes in the rain
a life yet able to atone

Pt.3: Fortississimo (22:00, 12/09/06)
Do we skitter when in doubt
-the ponderance of going-under
or rising-up in defiance
survival instinct asunder
superable fears like memories
adorned and gilded by time
the imposition of surgery
leaves a postprandial mountain to climb.

Thank you to all my close dear friends for bearing with me, and for helping, encouraging and supporting me during an extremely difficult time, (I feel somewhat ashamed of burdening so much of my pain onto this blog)...you are all very great, and I want to somehow thank you, by sharing this lovely song, from one of my favourite singers, ANGGUN, a French-Javanese who I like very much.

Please enjoy this video...

Anggun: Juste avant toi

Juste Avant Toi

On a dressé entre nous
Tant de murs, fait de silence
Et ces liens qui se dénouent
Va laisser
Des morceaux d’amour cassé
Je voudrai remonter
Le temps si je pouvais

Redevenir celle
Qui avait des ailes
Juste avant toi
Juste avant toi
Retrouver mes pas
Revenir là-bas
Juste avant toi
Juste avant toi

Des rêves qu’on partageait
On finit par nous lasser
Nombre se sont oubliés
Et chacun a pris un chemin secret
Sur le mien je voudrai

Redevenir celle
Qui avait des ailes
Juste avant toi
Juste avant toi
Retrouver mes pas
Revenir là-bas
Juste avant toi
Juste avant toi

Etre là-bas
Juste avant toi
Retrouver ce que j’ai toujours été
Avant toi Avant toi
Revenir sur mes pas, et recommencer
Avant toi, là-bas

Redevenir celle
Qui avait des ailes
Juste avant toi
Juste avant toi
Retrouver mes pas
Revenir là-bas
Juste avant toi
Juste avant toi

Juste avant toi

20:57 has come around again
to greet me as I've done the same
twilight of duotone passing-
out from cuesta falling
when jalousie dispelled light
and a heart committed to fight
in darkness so courageous
a first touch became luminous
like an unnaccompanied thought
perilous by escarpment taut
over sensual land in dreamflight
'til jagged and wingless landing's fright
a perdition of heartless gasp
choked by a head-sea clasp
crashing against this limpet soul
with the vision of beacon knoll
of skulking hope and enveloping fear
light is the ultimate seer.

written by lauren6
18/09/2006 pm

on passing in and out of consciousness and breathlessness at pain's command.

Help-
is close at hand?
Help-
is where you find it
Help-
is afraid to ask
Help-
today, wears a mask.

written by lauren6
14:50, 18/09/2006

Can a sky clear
a clouded hope
or a Sun shine
upon one last slope
when storms brew
over floundering veld
where mountains do accrue
with a mighty blow delt
in suburban humility
space and time foresaken
by-passed positivity
this agony is not mistaken.

written by lauren6
14:45, 18/09/2006
surgery.

...the aftershocks of spinal operations,

I'm taking a backseat
free from all
in a lull of retreat
and competitive health
I'll let the world do it's rites
entrenched for the Winter
in social plights
unarmed and unafraid
hurt shows no face
yet a Soul burns
welling indifference
to successive turns
in friendly ceasefire
behind the lines
a respite from the mire
awaiting freer times.

written by lauren6
14:30, 18/09/2006

during another dangerous afternoon of health...

One road ahead
of a place I once bled
in spirit past
a hortative blast
the memories reign
throughout the pain
in a decorous time
a souvenir sublime
thence I return
like terrigenous burn.

written by lauren6
taken to surgery, yet again
18/09/2006