Fianza
Deposit, security and extremely good with black olives.

Felony
Serious crime punishable by having a lawyer represent you.

Finca
Property or plot of land, and one of much thought in the Sauf-ist of Ingland.

Fiscal
Related to the Treasury, however, under stress, or duress, can become a useful weapon when clenched.

Folio
A book of papers used in court, or elsewhere. This is also the game played in court when stealing the judge's 'hammer'

Fortalice
The place you sit when told to "be seated" safe from the harm of the law.

Fossa
Again, the state you go to when told to "be seated" or, "silence in court"...also a subtle exclamation from curled lips!

Frowst
Hot stuffiness, yes indeed judge!

Freeloader
A good for nothing mooching, blood sucking parasitic leech.

Fructis
From latin fructus, bearing fruit, which is chewed-on by all lawyers, leavng the rest to rot. Also a leader in lawyer haircare!

Fugly
Can be used freely, but best kept in mind for long-drawn out sagas. Probably best desribes the lawyer than the accused!

Fungibles
Moveable effects consumed by use from the Latin fungibilis...but can be brought on by whispering between judge and lawyer, out of your earshot.

After another wounding night in the hands of medics playing with my medicine, I'm thankful to have, I think, at least 3 out of 4 propellers working. I'm not grounded yet, though turbulence reigns for the moment.

A doctor actually replied to my begging calls to help me, and restore my original heart medicine, with the words, "you are repetitive". I'm hurting...but this is a new kind of pain.

When your ears failed to listen
I screamed in this hopeless desecration
of a pain so "repetitive"
is that blame my condemnation

credence tried, yet forever tested
in ageless eyes, neoteric tears
fall in sedate threnody
the salt of deepest fears

there's nowhere left to turn
in paralising the right to choose
Puissance fills the uncremonious urn
alone in bed free to muse

It's time to munify indignant breach
pulsation's bewail hemeralopia
now life appears in a tube I cannot reach
as Doctor's detail all via the photocopier

an earnest pain exploited by medicine
nerves exscinded by humanity exposed
in medicine's original practice of sin
eye-opening wounds now be closed.

written by wensum24.

As I love flags, and collect them, I certainly enjoyed this animation...wonderful...wherever you're from, you'll find your nation represented...

verkorperung des Geistes.

In times past I never forgot
heartlands significant spot
now a randan of falling leaves
as hopes and dreams beg to tease
within this obvert place
disconcerting hopes no disgrace
simulating the definitive paradise
from this slumber yet to aclimatise
the sepulchre 25th lingers so
like a flag upon the mind-meadow
here and there vigourous thoughts rise
from a ria of debilities franchise
flowing through the schlucht of health
life's steeps, steeples and stealth
in season, the vineyards of our imagination
to industrial words and human contamination
yet...nature speaks, like a river flow
to those who truly know.

written by wensum24.

Drinking for Long Life

Once upon a time, there was a big drinker who had never done any good and had never committed any sins either.

There were three people in his family; his wife, his son and him. He desired his son to be ordained as a Buddhist monk. Unfortunately, he died at the age of 50. It was before the ordination of his beloved son.

Before his death, he told his family to put a few bottles of alcohol in his coffin in order to quench his thirst with it after he died.

After his death, his spirit went to hell. There, the guardian of the dead asked him, “Why do you prefer alcohol? Is it tasty?”

“It is the greatest thing on earth I’ve ever drunk. No words can explain its terrific flavour. Try it and you will know,” said the man.

“What a pity! I won’t know its flavour because in hell we don’t have anything like this,” said the guardian of the dead.

“I take a few bottles of alcohol with me. Here you are. Try it,” said the man.

After tasting the alcohol, the guardian was impressed. He drank a bottle of it and got drunk because he had never tried it before. After that both of them promised to be friends.

The guardian of the dead told the man, “If you want anything, just tell me. I’m willing to help you.”

“I desire nothing other than to arrange the ordination for my son. Please let me go back home for only one more year. I long to be in the religious ceremony of my son,” the man begged the guardian.

As the guardian liked the man very much, he extended the man’s life by adding one more year to the age of him in a register. But he was blind drunk, so he wrote number 1 at the end of the figure 50 instead of erasing number 0 from the figure before writing number 1. As a result, the man’s age was 501, not 51.

When the man was alive again, he arranged the ordination for his son and then waited for the time to die. Many years passed by, but he didn’t die. He was so sad because his wife, his son and all the descendants were dead, but he wasn’t.

-A southern Thai tale

Embezzle
The hairsplitting and rarely enforced rule dealing with lawyers illegally misappropriating the client’s money into his or her own account by fraudulent means. Picky, picky, picky.

Ethics
In the old English court system, a set of standards or codes outlining the moral principles, conduct and judgment the lawyers had to adhere to.

Evidence
Proof, presented at trial, that your lawyer actually has a pulse after all.

Ex parte communication
Latin for “don’t get caught bribing the judge.”

Expert witness
A witness who is an expert at custom tailoring his so-called expert testimony to fit the particular needs of the lawyer paying his or her tab.

Ex post facto
Latin for “after your check clears the lawyer’s bank;" this phrase accurately portrays the approximate moment you figure out that your lawyer can’t find his butt with both hands.

Extortion
The shakedown process lawyers regularly utilize when blackmailing a defendant into submission and making said defendant surrender and run up the white flag and more importantly, fork over some serious cheese.

This Russian animation, by Ivan Maximov, is quite bizarre, especially at 7am, but fascinating...

Today my routine blood pressure check, each morning, sparked some activity, indeed since that medicine fiasco a few weeks ago, (where the doctor's in conflict with each other, chopped and changed my medication with near fatal results), the staff have kept an ever-watchful eye on my health, to the degree that the slightest change causes great concern.

My blog gives me a chance to express my feelings, concerns, and even seek reassurance too.
I would like to ask, is my blood pressure reading particularly bad?
This morning's three readings were;
144/101
146/105
148/107
Thereafter, I was quickly given a blood test, ECG, and heart ultrasound scan...all happened without any information being passed to the patient, namely me..but I was grateful for the attention nonetheless.

After, a nurse who is typical of so many at 'ground level', tried so hard to help me, expressed normal and very human reactions to my readings, and even voiced her concern at the doctor who had stopped my 'safe medicine' for my heart. This decision by the doctor seems to have nearly killed me.
The nurse vented some anger about it, and demanded I be checked by him, to 'reinstate the normal heart medication that kept me stable for months'.

This is amazing. But at least I have someone here on my side, who also reassured me that the doctor really is appalling. I shall tell him that a job in Premiership refereeing awaits.

Ich glaube Ihnen
Ich glaube Ihrem Gefühl
Sie geben mir Gefühl
Sie nehmen mein Gefühl
Sie glauben meinem Gefühl
Sie glauben mir.

I feel you.
I feel your emotion.
You give me emotion.
You take my emotion.
You feel my feeling.
You feel me.

One morning, after he had finished his meditation, the old man opened his eyes and saw a scorpion floating helplessly in the water. As the scorpion was washed closer to the tree, the old man quickly stretched himself out on one of the long roots that branched out into the river and reached out to rescue the drowning creature. As soon as he touched it, the scorpion stung him. Instinctively the man withdrew his hand. A minute later, after he had regained his balance, he stretched himself out again on the roots to save the scorpion. This time the scorpion stung him so badly with its poisonous tail that his hand became swollen and bloody and his face contorted with pain.

At that moment, a passerby saw the old man stretched out on the roots struggling with the scorpion and shouted: "Hey, stupid old man, what's wrong with you? Only a fool would risk his life for the sake of an ugly, evil creature. Don't you know you could kill yourself trying to save that ungrateful scorpion?"

The old man turned his head. Looking into the stranger's eyes he said calmly, "My friend, just because it is the scorpion's nature to sting, that does not change my nature to save."

I now know who are the scorpions in hospital!!

This was written after waking from medicated, and pained, sleep.
As today has brought news that I'll be quickly taken to surgery at 11am+ with no reason given other than 'blood pressure'.

Oh well, another subject to write about later...hopefully...

The world expands upon closed eyes
days finishing line is the nights prized race
restricted by what I see arise
I'm drawn behind portière dividing grace

hours displaced, thrown into a braid of destiny
recall and wishes, all within minds reach
from Aponsi in gilded Wat reverie
subconsciously restoring Khmer temples to teach

within freedom, ocean drifts noumenon
without restriction, lands advancing certainties
priorities and necessities in eyeopening dénouement
entitlements of freewill give restfull sensitivities

the minds sepia snapshots return home
from journeys sempiternal mile
in the prorogue of awakening roam
for dreams are shadows of eyes dial.

written by wensum24.

Names Day
by, David Kuchta

Not too long ago, many people were named for a Patron Saint. Although popular throughout Europe, Russia and many other parts of the globe, it does seem to be going by the wayside. In some countries it was the custom to name a child after a Saint and therefore, the day of the child’s birth was not important but, the day commemorated for his or her "Saint." In the Slavic countries it was popular to give the first born male child the same name as his father. For some families this went on for generations. Many different ethnic groups don't only celebrate the birthday of a person, but his "Name Day," and also think it just as important to honor the day of his or her death. For the Russian Orthodox Christians (and those who were Greek Catholic) "Names Day" is supposed to be a spiritual holiday. In the old times, before the communist revolution, people normally visited church on their particular "Names Day" and prayed to the Saint they were named after. Usually people that were celebrating the certain "Names Day" would be congratulated on his special day. Since the Russian Orthodox Christians thought this to be a spiritual time, presents were not appropriate unless it was a spiritual present such as a book or icon.

Of course, the modern generation's ways of doing things are fast changing. Lil Junas gave me a little input on how the school kids celebrated their "Names Day" while in school (This was while she was working in Slovakia). She said, "They were celebrated just like birthdays, with cake and other sweets. The school kids would bring something sweet to pass around to the class." The teacher would acknowledge that person's, "Name Day." Gifts weren't given in school, but some did get gifts at home. Some people claimed that the "Names Day" was more important then a birthday. Maybe this was so, a few generations back, but in modern Slovakia a persons birthday is more important then his "Name Day" according to Martin Lipocky, who is a citizen of Slovakia. Lipocky claims that some people appreciate "Names Day" the same way as they do birthdays. He thinks of it as a special day for reminding a person you like, how much you think of them. Lipocky said, "The person usually treats the congratulating person for a cup of coffee and some cake or goodies. The appreciated gifts are chocolate, some candy, or a bottle of spirits and/or flowers for the women."

During our modern times, it is appropriate for the celebrant of the "Names Day" to do the supplying of goodies, coffee or liquid refreshment. Even birthdays are being celebrated the same way at business's or work areas. At home, the celebrant of the "Names Day" or birthday, may receive gifts and is treated to some type of party by family members. Times are changing!

25th nervous slowdown...
written about my near fateful day on the 25th, when overmedication threw my body into turmoil...yet there were reasons to keep going...

So whose hand is it anyway?
while I lay here and write
a defiant line goes astray
sweeping markers fielding Herbst blight
doses administered in supposed docility
for their hands of fate sought duplicity

Tied to inhospitable medical paralysis
ironically in the hands of medgicians
extinguishing my heart, tricking my anamnesis
my eyes become reflecting physicians
(in)sight, the last movement to be played
far-removed, yet watchful and staid

Another pulse indoctrinates consulting induction
visions indrawn, the blurring of time;
early night! my soul's horizontal deduction
I'm a baby in your arms of loving sublime
safe and warm beside your heartbeats
not withstanding the brink of fatal entreats.

Life is given-
in small doses
lightly
-over to you.

written by wensum24

My medicine cup has been passed to me, and soon it will be time to close the curtain-eyelids upon this positive day, shared, thankfully with you good people, and the hope within me has grown a little more, this I can feel certain of, and long may it continue.

Such has been my case, that each and every time I reach this point of hope, a doctor decides to 'try something else'...but not this time!!!

I'm going to sleep with dreams of ocean stars and palms, listening to this song by Depeche Mode..."Freelove"...Goodnight everyone~~

If youve been hiding from love
If youve been hiding from love
I can understand where youre coming from
I can understand where youre coming from

If youve suffered enough
If youve suffered enough
I can understand what youre thinking of
I can see the pain that youre frightened of

And Im only here
To bring you free love
Lets make it clear
That this is free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love

Ive been running like you
Ive been running like you
Now you understand why Im running scared
Now you understand why Im running scared

Ive been searching for truth
Ive been searching for truth
And I havent been getting anywhere
No I havent been getting anywhere

And Im only here
To bring you free love
Lets make it clear
That this is free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love

Hey girl
Youve got to take this moment
Then let it slip away
Let go of complicated feelings
Then theres no price to pay

Weve been running from love
Weve been running from love
And we dont know what were doing here
No we dont know what were doing here

Were only here
Sharing our free love
Lets make it clear
That this is free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love
No hidden catch
No strings attached
Just free love

Depeche Mode

Once there lived a village of creatures along the bottom of a great crystal river. Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs and rocks of the river bottom, for clinging was their way of life, and resisting the current what each had learned from birth. But one creature said at last, "I trust that the current knows where it is going. I shall let go, and let it take me where it will. Clinging, I shall die of boredom."

The other creatures laughed and said, "Fool! Let go, and that current you worship will throw you tumbled and smashed across the rocks, and you will die quicker than boredom!"

But the one heeded them not, and taking a breath did let go, and at once was tumbled and smashed by the current across the rocks. Yet, in time, as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the bottom, and he was bruised and hurt no more.

And the creatures downstream, to whom he was a stranger, cried, "See a miracle! A creature like ourselves, yet he flies! See the Messiah, come to save us all!" And the one carried in the current said, "I am no more Messiah than you. The river delight to lift us free, if only we dare let go. Our true work is this voyage, this adventure.

But they cried the more, "Saviour!" all the while clinging to the rocks, making legends of a Saviour.

Damages
The financial compensation awarded to an aggrieved party and his or her lawyer, though not necessarily in that order.

Defamation
A statement that smears a lawyer’s reputation, such as stating the lawyer did a sorry ass job on your case when it was really much closer to a half ass job instead.

Default judgment
When your lawyer screws up and manages to lose your case and you’re smacked with a judgment against you, generally it’s said to be default of your lawyer.

Defendant
In criminal cases, the person accused of committing a crime. In civil cases, the poor sucker getting hammered with a lawsuit.

Deposition
A pre-trial oral examination which is part of the discovery process, wherein the opposing lawyer tediously grills you with the same set of half-witted questions twenty seven different ways, hoping to trip you up and then use the newly acquired “evidence” against you at trial.

Directed verdict
A judge’s order to the jury to return a specified verdict, generally because one of the lawyers didn’t come through with the payola as promised.

Discovery
When the lawyer suddenly finds out that the client still has some money left in his or her account.

Dissenting vote
A conflicting vote that runs contrary to the rest of the jury members. The spoil sport on the jury who casts a dissenting vote and keeps them from getting home in time for Wheel of Fortune is generally considered persona non grata by the balance of the jury members.

Divorce
A doubly difficult time in a couple’s married life where they are forced to deal with bad feelings and bad lawyers.

Divorce lawyer
A lawyer whose primary responsibility is to make damn sure you get half and he gets the other half.

Docket
The official and current court record book listing all of the nonsensical loony tune lawsuits that have been filed of record and will in all likelihood clog that particular court through the year 2020.

Double jeopardy
Being tried twice for the same offense is illegal. However, being charged twice by your lawyer is perfectly A-OK.

Duces tecum
Goofy looking Latin words for “bring with you”. Most common in initial meeting with lawyer when you should “bring checkbook with you”.

Due process
The antiquated and sorely out of touch notion that the laws and all legal proceedings must be fair to all parties concerned.

Dufus dilecti
Latin for “dead dumb ass,” as in the condition most clients find themselves after dealing with their lawyers.

The Fly and the Millet

Once there lived an old man and an old woman. They had a young son, and all were so poor that they often had trouble finding food. Times were so bad that finally they had only one grain of millet left to eat. Ivan, take the millet to the miller and have it ground into meal, said the woman to her son. Ivan went to the mill and had the millet ground into meal. The old woman cooked the millet and put it into a bowl to cool. Ivan, you guard the millet while your father and I have a rest, said the old woman, as she sat down for a nap. The father stretched out to nap on the bench, while the old woman sat in a chair. Young Ivan took his job very seriously; he stood over the bowl with a large stick, ready to take care of anybody who would dare to distrub their meal. A hungry fly buzzed into the house and made straight for the bowl of millet. As soon as Ivan saw the fly, he said to himself "just look at that fly! I will fix her for trying to spoil our millet! He sneaked up on the fly and swung the stick mightily.

He missed the fly, but he did not miss the bowl of millet, which shattered and flew into pieces all over the room. I will get even with that fly, thought Ivan. Spying it in the air near the old woman, he again swung his stick. He missed the fly again, but he did not miss his mother. She fell to the floor, truly asleep, with a big bump on her head. Now look what you have done, you naughty fly, cried Ivan as he redoubled his efforts to catch her. The fly sat on the forehead of the sleeping old man, and Ivan again swung his stick. Once more, he missed the fly. But, he did not miss the innocent old man, who also fell into a deeper sleep with a big bump on his head. Ivan chased the fly all over the house, breaking and upsetting everything. Finally, he threw his stick at the fly. He missed the fly, but he did not miss the window. The stick went through it, and the fly followed right after.

From "Yalynka and Other Ukrainian Folk Tales Retold in English" by Danny Evanishen

I've just eaten, for the first time today; Thai rice, aubergine, red hot chillies, Mon Ploy (sp?) curry paste, and fish..followed by wholemeal seeded bread with German emmental cheese.
Then tablets, gabapentin1200mg for sleep this afternoon...

I've long admired Depeche Mode, and this song, "Useless" from 1997 is wonderful, as I have great empathy with Dave Gahan's feelings in this video, though my reasons may be somewhat different to his, (yet, it must be noted that he nearly died of an overdose, and I too but at the hands of medics administering the drugs, not me), the lyrics and anger felt are the same...so this is my part, (acted by Dave Gahan, DM), shown to the medics who nearly killed me...

Well it's about time
It's beginning to hurt
Time you made up your mind
Just what is it all worth

All my useless advice
All my hanging around
All your cutting down to size
All my bringing you down

Watch the clock on the wall
Feel the slowing of time
Hear a voice in the hall
Echoing in my mind

All your stupid ideals
You've got your head in the clouds
You should see how it feels
With your feet on the ground

Here I stand the accused
With your fist in my face
Feeling tired and bruised
With the bitterest taste

All my useless advice
All my hanging around
All your cutting down to size
All my bringing you down

All your stupid ideals
You've got your head in the clouds
You should see how it feels
With your feet on the ground

Depeche Mode: Useless

Campaign contribution
Booty contributed by lawyers to judges’ election coffers for the express purpose of receiving preferential treatment from said judges. Judges’ campaign slogans are “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.” Not to be confused with a bribe, which is usually given after the judge has been elected, although both are given for same reason and are equally effective techniques for buying off judges.

Capital gain
The money a lawyer squeezes from his or her clients.

Capital loss
The money the client forks over to the lawyer.

Capital punishment
The lawyer fees the client must pay.

Caveat emptor
Latin for “let him beware of the lawyer.” Particularly applicable tenet when a client must deal with his or her lawyer.

Caveat rumpus
Latin for “covering your ass”. An often exercised principle in the legal profession. Also known in legal circles as “CYA.”

Challenge for cause
Lawyer’s option, during the jury selection process, of requesting that a potential juror be rejected if the lawyer determines that the person is unable or unwilling to ignore the evidence and pay attention only to the lawyer’s line of horse hockey.

Change of venue
A lawyer’s request to change the trial location so that his Uncle Bob, the on the take judge from Nincompoop County, can preside over the case.

Checks and balances
A legal phrase for the lawyer making absolutely certain that the client has sufficient balances in his or her bank account to cover the check written to the lawyer.

Circumstantial evidence
Depending on what side of the case the lawyer is arguing, the same circumstantial evidence can either be 1) a smoking gun proving guilt beyond a shadow of doubt, or 2) a trifling, petty, inconclusive and inconsequential nuisance proving nothing at all.

Civil law
Quirky American derivation of Roman law wherein lawyers and judges routinely manipulate a written collection of laws that apply to everyone but the lawyers and judges themselves, who are exempt from observance of said laws; practiced by uncivil lawyers in an uncivil environment and administered by uncivil judges in uncivil courtrooms.

Class action lawyers
The lawyers representing a group of aggrieved plaintiffs in multimillion dollar class action lawsuits who typically receive the millions of dollars in legal fees while their clients in turn receive coupons and discounts as their portion of the windfall award or settlement.

Class action lawsuit
The legal equivalent of lawyers winning the lottery; it is an often misapplied machination wherein lawyers work to group together as many people as possible having comparable claims thereby allowing the lawyers to extort huge sums of money for themselves from the defendants while tossing their clients a bone for their trouble. See “Class action members.”

Class action members
The group of aggrieved plaintiffs in multimillion dollar class action lawsuits who typically receive coupons and discounts as their portion of the windfall award or settlement.

Closing arguments
As the trial draws to a conclusion, this is the lawyer’s last ditch ostentatious oratorical effort to bamboozle, baffle and befuddle the jury before deliberations begin. Muddling the facts, confusing the issues and blowing more smoke than a ’71 Pinto spewing exhaust fumes are time honored traditions of the closing argument.

Common law
Kooky legal doctrine wherein judges are allowed to make up the law as they go along, citing precedents of other knuckle head judges as the basis for their home cooked decisions. Under the table payoffs and campaign contributions from lawyers pleading their cases are common components taken into consideration when common law is determined by judges. See “Campaign contributions.”

Community property
Property acquired by a couple during their marriage together and then acquired by the lawyers during the couple’s divorce.

Compensatory damages
Money awarded by the court to reimburse for a party for actual costs incurred, such as medical bills and lost wages, as well as for harder to measure items like pain and suffering. The lawyers always have first crack on the loot, since they must be reimbursed for their owned trumped up costs, expenses, fees and the like. See “Costs.”

Complaint
Term for which there are a multiplicity of legal meanings, including: what the lawyer files on behalf of his or her clients to get a lawsuit underway; the constant criticisms the client always has about his or her lousy ass lawyer once the lawsuit is underway.

Confession
When the accused decides its far better to admit to the crime and face the electric chair than be forced to listen to the loud mouth lawyers for even one more mind numbing minute.

Conflict of interest
A disturbing and somewhat awkward situation that occurs whenever a lawyer, representing one client, discovers that the opposing party is paying their lawyer a lot more money than his client is paying him.

Conspiracy
A sticky situation that occurs when one lawyer attempts to bilk another lawyer out of a fee.

Contempt of court
By definition, an action that insults the dignity of the court - as if that’s really possible. In reality, anyone that rubs the judge the wrong way may be held in contempt and be forced to fork over a fine or even spend some time in the county cooler.

Contingency fee
A fee arrangement between the lawyer and his or her clients that stipulates the following: If they lose the case - the lawyer gets nothing. If they win the case - the clients get nothing.

Contract
An agreement between two or more parties in which an offer is made and accepted. In the legal profession, it’s an agreement between the lawyer and the client which stipulates that the client agrees to pay the lawyer and the lawyer agrees to take the money.

Contributory negligence
Anything that contributed to your lawyer’s carelessness or indifference during your trial, like the third martini he sloshed down at lunch or his inability to count to ten.

Costs
In the legal vernacular, includes every possible combination of fees, costs, charges, reimbursements, expenses and the like that lawyers are able conjure up in their never ending quest to siphon every dollar from every client each and every time out. It should be mentioned that this task is not nearly as easy as the lawyers make it appear.

Court order
When the judge notices that is approaching noon, he or she summons the bailiff to place his lunch order.

Crime
An illegal offense or activity which lawyers are free to perpetrate without consequence, but when committed by anyone else would result in the offender getting thrown in the slammer.

Criminal lawyers
Aren’t they all?

Cross examination
When the lawyer becomes a little cantankerous with an uncooperative witness.

Culpa lata
Latin for gross negligence. A lawyer who concludes a lawsuit with a client who still has some cash remaining is said to be guilty of culpa lata.

A Man's Duty is to Try
By Troy Morash

On the grassy shore of the Danube River there was a little village of people who were friendly and kind. They liked to work harder than usual. However these were hard times and hard work was to no avail. Food was sparse. All the shops had closed and all the wild animals had run away. Miraculously the people held to their positive attitudes.

On one hot day three good friends, Costache, Vasile and Gheorghe had spent the entire day fishing. Between the three of them and several hours later they managed to catch one little fish. As they were returning home, a friend of theirs saw them and saw the fish.

'Costache, Vasile, Gheorghe, from where are you coming with a fish?! Why didn't you take me with you?' the man asked, greedily eyeing the fish. He was hungry and hadn't eaten in days.

'You can also fish,' said Vasile.

'How?'

'It's easy!' Gheorghe said. 'You take a small branch and tie a piece of string to it. Then you tie a worm to the string and you can catch fish.'

'And as we are friends,' Costache added, 'we'll tell you where you can get the worms, in the ground.'

'Which ground would that be?' the man asked his good and learned friends, for he was eager to start.

'Why the very ground you are standing on!'

After his friends left him, the man said to himself, 'Why can I not catch a fish now. It seems so easy!' He set to work straight away. He went into the bush and found a nice stick. Then he ransacked his house looking for a piece of string. He only had a spoon so finding a worm was the longest and hardest part. Then he tied the worm to the string and climbed up onto the roof of his house and threw his line with the sickly worm over the side. Not an hour had passed before someone saw the man sitting on top of his roof. 'What are you doing Ioane? The passerby asked.

'Can't you see that I am fishing.'

'But on the roof of your house?! There isn't even any water.'

Ioane thought about this for a moment and then replied, 'Hey, a man's duty is to try!'

Folk tale from Romania.

Bad faith
An intent to deceive. A tactic often used by lawyers when dealing with their clients.

Bail
The sum of money a lawyer’s client must pay in order to get released from jail after pummeling his or her rat skunk of a lawyer.

Bankruptcy
The formal condition of a person being deemed insolvent under law, a situation a goodly number of people end up in after paying their lawyer’s bill. By declaring bankruptcy, the person agrees to divert his or her remaining assets to the lawyer handling the bankruptcy.

Bar exam
Formal ceremony held by second year law school students, typically during Spring Break, to determine who in their class can chug down the most tequila in a one hour time frame. Winner is said to have passed the “Bar.”

Barrister
English derivation of the French term for bastard. See “Bastard”.

Bastard
French term for lawyer. As in, “That lawyer’s a bastard - pardon my French.”

Bench
The comfy throne in which the judge plops his or her considerable poste